5 June 2015 - Play 1

PROMPT:  Get this off me.

Steven Dietz, playwright/educator

Carter, 34, looks at his smart phone.  Julie, 29, walks on stage and over to Carter.
JULIE
Work?
CARTER
Cat videos.
JULIE
You’re one of those?
CARTER
No, no.
(hastily puts his phone in his pocket)
It was just...
JULIE
Cute cat videos.
CARTER
It was dressed up like a cow.
JULIE
A cow?
CARTER
And it hated it.  The caption read, “Get this off me!” And the cat was rolling around on the floor trying to get the costume.
JULIE
So animal cruelty.
CARTER
The cat wasn’t being hurt...
JULIE
Just annoyed.
CARTER
Yea.
JULIE
Lovely.  And shouldn’t it be “Get this off of me.”
CARTER
You’re a grammar Nazi.
JULIE
Yup.
Silence.
JULIE
So you get off on animal torture...
CARTER
And you correct everyone’s English.
JULIE
Yup.
CARTER
Yup.
Silence.
JULIE
I believe that concludes our second...
CARTER
(interrupting)
... and final...
JULIE
... date.
Silence.
CARTER
Yup.
JULIE
Yup.
Julie goes back the way she came on.  Carter takes his phone out, starts the video again, and exits the opposite wing.
End of Play.