4 June 2015

PROMPT: Write a scene where everyone gets stabbed at least once.

Marisela Treviño Orta, playwright

Army SGT. April KAYHILL, 35, holding a clipboard, stands near the wing.  Army  LT. CALHOUN, 29, a male nurse, sits on a wooden chair center stage.  Next to the Lieutenant is a tray with two dozen hypodermic needles and some gauze and tape.
SGT. KAYHILL
(calling out)
Private Henderson!
PRIVATE HENDERSON, 19, a tall lanky boy dressed in a new Army fatigue uniform enters near Sgt. Kayhill.  Private Henderson stops next to Sgt. Kayhill and salutes.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(loud)
Private Henderson reporting!
SGT. KAYHILL
You see any tin on these shoulders?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(glancing hesitantly)
No, sir.
SGT. KAYHILL
I look like I got a gun in my pants?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(confused)
A gun?  No, sir.
(understanding his error)
Ma’am!
SGT. KAYHILL
It’s “No, Sergeant,” and you don’t salute me.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
Yes, ma... sergeant.
SGT. KAYHILL
Better.  You ready to get stabbed?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
No, si... ma... sergeant.
SGT. KAYHILL
(stepping in front of the Private and getting nose to nose, quiet, angry)
What do you mean, “no,” private?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
I’m not ready... sergeant.
SGT. KAYHILL
Well, you better get ready, private.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
I’ve... I’ve never gotten a shot before, sergeant.
SGT. KAYHILL
(disbelief)
You’ve never gotten a shot...?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
No, sergeant.
SGT. KAYHILL
How old are you, private?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
Nineteen, sergeant.
SGT. KAYHILL
And you’ve never had a shot?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
No, Sergeant.  My mother thought vaccinations would make me... would stunt my growth.
Sgt. Kayhill goes over to Lt. Calhoun.
SGT. KAYHILL
Lt. Calhoun, the private’s mother thought vaccinations might...
(looking back at the Private)
...stunt his growth.
LT. CALHOUN
(leaning around Sgt. Kayhill and looking at the private)
I don’t think the private’s mother should have worried.  He appears stunted already.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(offended and misunderstanding)
I’m over six feet tall!
SGT. KAYHILL
(correcting the Private)
Sir!
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(caught off guard)
What?
SGT. KAYHILL
This nurse is a Lieutenant, an officer.  You salute him and say “sir.”
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(wide eyed, snaps a salute)
Sorry, sir.
LT. CALHOUN
I know this is you first day...
SGT. KAYHILL
...and it’s not starting off too well, private...
LT. CALHOUN
...but let me advise you.  One area of conversation to avoid with your fellow soldiers is things your mother told you when you were little.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
Yes... sir.
LT. CALHOUN
You say you’ve never gotten a shot.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
No, sir.  Needles scare me.
LT. CALHOUN
Are you a patriot, private?
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(snapping to attention and saluting)
Sir, yes, sir.
LT. CALHOUN
We’re going to give you a weapon.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(beaming)
Yes, sir.
LT. CALHOUN
We’re going to teach you how to use that weapon.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
Yes, sir.
LT. CALHOUN
Then we’re going to send you out into places where there are other people with weapons who will be trying to shoot you.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
I’m ready, sir!
LT. CALHOUN
(sarcasm)
And you’re going to let some tiny mosquito or some little girl with a cough kill you because  of something your mommy told you or because you’re afraid of needles.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
I...
(crestfallen)
No, sir.
LT. CALHOUN
Everybody in the Army gets stabbed, from the littlest private...
SGT. KAYHILL
(looking pointedly at his crotch)
That would be you.
LT. CALHOUN
To the Secretary of the Army.
(annoyed)
Get used to it!
PRIVATE HENDERSON
Yes, sir.
SGT. KAYHILL
Now walk your limp dick over to the Lieutenant, roll up your sleeve, and be a big boy.
PRIVATE HENDERSON
(head down)
Yes, sir, ma’am!  Sergeant!
End of Play.