8 Aug 2015

PROMPT:  This morning, I tasted…

Lindsey Lane, writer/speaker/teacher 

Phil, 24, enters the kitchen.  Susan, 24, sits at the kitchen table sipping coffee.
PHIL
What’s for breakfast?
SUSAN
I don’t eat breakfast.
PHIL
I gotta have breakfast.
Phil goes to the refrigerator and looks in.
PHIL
No milk?!
SUSAN
Mama’s boy, huh?
PHIL
Because I like milk?!
SUSAN
Get a cup of coffee, sit down, and shut up.
PHIL
Not a morning person, I take it.
SUSAN
What was your first clue, Sherlock?
Phil rolls his eyes and looks in the fridge again.
PHIL
Can I eat this pizza?
SUSAN
For breakfast?!
Susan makes a face like she is about to vomit.
PHIL
My mother loved leftover’s for breakfast...
(taking out the pizza box)
... especially cold pizza.
SUSAN
Yup.  Mama’s boy.
PHIL
A guy can’t like his mother?
SUSAN
(rolling her eyes)
Whatever.
Phil sets the pizza box on the table and sits.
PHIL
Last night was fun!
SUSAN
The party or what we did afterwards?
PHIL
Both!
Silence.
SUSAN
I hate morning people.
PHIL
(cajoling)
You had fun last night?
SUSAN
It just should have ended last night.
PHIL
You didn’t want me to stay?
SUSAN
Are you sure you’re not a detective?
PHIL
You didn’t say anything.
SUSAN
That’s right.  I didn’t say anything!  You just assumed...
PHIL
I made an ass out of you and me.
SUSAN
You’re an idiot.
PHIL
(standing)
I’ll leave.  I’m sorry I over stayed my welcome.
SUSAN
Sit down and eat some pizza!
Silence. Phil looks at Susan.
PHIL
Are you sure?
SUSAN
Now, I’m saying something!  Sit down and eat some fucking pizza.
PHIL
(still hesitating, overly earnest)
Are you sure?!
SUSAN
Jeez, you’re an idiot.
(calming herself)
Sit.  Eat pizza.
PHIL
Well, alright then.
Phil sits.  Susan opens the pizza box.  Phil takes out a slice.
SUSAN
I can’t believe you eat it cold.
PHIL
Just like mom taught me.
Phil, looking Susan in the eye, takes a big bite and starts to chew, but after a second his eyes bulge and a look of disgust comes over his face.  Finally, he spits the bite of pizza out into the box.
PHIL
How old is this pizza?
SUSAN
Had it delivered last night before I went out.
PHIL
Takes like old socks.  Must be moldy.
SUSAN
(smiling for the first time.)
Anchovies.
PHIL
Anchovies!  You eat anchovy pizza.
SUSAN
Love it.
PHIL
That is so gross.
Susan takes a piece out of the box and takes a big bite.
SUSAN
(yummy noise with big smile)
Mmmmm...
PHIL
(standing)
You and I are not compatible.
SUSAN
Duh!
Phil leaves.
End of play.