15 Aug 2015

PROMPT:  One of The Many Gods has it out for you. Do you a) run,  b) make a deal for protection from One of the Other Gods,  c) work on a little counter magic on your own  or d) something else?  State the background then the proposed action.

Kent Cole, guitarist

Casey, 34, kneels on one knee in front the Goddess Aphrodite.
CASEY
I wasn’t peeking!
APHRODITE
You new she was out there, right?
CASEY
Yea.
APHRODITE
And you know how she is, right?
CASEY
Yea.
APHRODITE
So when your wandering the forests with a goddess and she disappears for a while and then you hear singing and the sounds of water splashing, what do you do?
CASEY
(resigned)
Close my eyes, turn, and walk in the other direction.
APHRODITE
We’ve talked about this before.
CASEY
I know.
APHRODITE
When you say...
(airquotes)
 ... “I know” like that I can hear the “Fuck you” you’d really rather say.
CASEY
Sorry.
APHRODITE
You don’t own me an apology.  I’m not the one going to turn you into a hog or a goat or a...
(with a shrug)
... who knows.
CASEY
Deer, well, a stag.
APHRODITE
She wants to turn you into a stag?  Why?
CASEY
So my hunting dogs will run me down and kill me and eat me.
APHRODITE
Yea, that sounds like Artemis.
CASEY
She really doesn’t like men, does she?
APHRODITE
She’s not that crazy about women either, unless their pregnant.
CASEY
Who does she like?
APHRODITE
Her twin brother.
CASEY
What happened during their upbringing?! She’s a virgin and he’s a hound dog!
APHRODITE
Don’t let Apollo hear you say that.
CASEY
Well, he is!
APHRODITE
I know!  But he likes to see himself as a protector of women, and compared to his father...
CASEY
You people are really fucked up, you know that?!
APHRODITE
Too small a gene pool.  Bad traits get reinforced rather than weeded out.
Silence.
CASEY
So, can you help me?
APHRODITE
What’s in it for me?
CASEY
You’re a freakin’ goddess!  What could I possibly have that you would want and couldn’t get for yourself?!
APHRODITE
You make a good point.
CASEY
Have you no mercy?!
APHRODITE
Not a lot of pay off in mercy.
CASEY
You’re a goddess, for christsake!  Pay off!  Don’t you have everything you could ever want?!
APHRODITE
Do you know how boring it is to be a goddess?!  There’s nobody to talk to, I don’t have any real friends, and I can never get a date on New Year’s Eve except with one of my brothers.
CASEY
Ewww!
APHRODITE
Ewww, is right!
CASEY
Well, at least nobody’s trying to turn you into a stag!
APHRODITE
Alright, alright.  Quit your whining.  I’ll talk to Artemis.
CASEY
Thank you!
APHRODITE
I’m not promisin’ nothin’...
CASEY
I know, I know...
APHRODITE
(turning away)
Humans...
End of play.