23 July 2015

PROMPT:  I can't believe you found that.

Megan Monaghan Rivas, dramaturg/educator

Bessie, 42, stands looking befuddled.  Mike, 45, enters holding up a cell phone.
BESSIE
Where did you find that?
MIKE
In your purse.
BESSIE
I looked there!
MIKE
What do you want me to say?  I lied.  I found it tucked in the jeans I wore last night.
BESSIE
You don’t own any jeans.
MIKE
Oh yea.
Hands Bessie her phone.
BESSIE
I hate that I can’t find things.
MIKE
Have you been tested?
BESSIE
My mother had me tested when I was little.  Apparently I can’t sort objects by shape or color.
MIKE
Stuff hides in plain sight.
BESSIE
Yup.
MIKE
Good thing I love you.
BESSIE
And you are really good at finding my stuff.
MIKE
Perhaps you should have included that in your online dating profile.
(air quotes)
“Must be able to find my stuff.”
BESSIE
We didn’t meet online.
MIKE
Oh yea.  That’s right.
BESSIE
And after you, I’m going to include in my online profile...
(air quotes)
... “no morons.”
MIKE
That’s going to limit the men you can date to... none.
BESSIE
Wish I liked girls.
MIKE
Just about as many morons among women as men.
BESSIE
But not quite.
MIKE
Still, a very limited gene pool... not that that matters if you’re dating women.
BESSIE
(making the sound of a rimshot while air playing a drum set)
Badum tish!
MIKE
What the hell was that?!
BESSIE
Rimshot.
MIKE
Sounds dirty.
BESSIE
It is if you do it right.
(miming another rimshot)
 Badum tish!
MIKE
Thank you, Mae West.
BESSIE
(imitating Mae West)
Is that a cell phone in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me.
Laughing, Mike grabs Bessie and kisses her.
MIKE
Why don’t we go upstairs and you can find out.
They exit laughing.
End of play.