21 July 2015

PROMPT:  How on earth did the dryer go missing from my garage?

Zeb L. West, writer/performer 

Ruth, 53, stands looking out the door leading to the garage.
RUTH
Bud!  Bud!  Come here!
Bud, 58, enters and goes to Ruth.
BUD
(slightly patronizing)
Yes, dear.
RUTH
Look out here.
BUD
In the garage...
Bud looks out into the garage through the door Ruth holds open.
BUD
I promise I will clean it up this week.
RUTH
Good.  But that’s not why I called you.  Look again.
Bud looks a little more carefully.
BUD
(finally)
So what am I missing?
RUTH
The dryer.
BUD
(turning to the open door)
Well, it’s right over...
(turning back to Ruth)
Where’s the dryer?
RUTH
Good question.
BUD
It was here when we went on vacation, wasn’t it?
RUTH
You did laundry the day before we left.  You dried the clothes, right?
BUD
Right.
(looking out in the garage)
But where’s the dryer?
RUTH
(shouting over her shoulder)
Mary!
MARY
(after a moment, off stage)
What?!
RUTH
Mary!?
MARY
(off stage)
What?!
RUTH
Would you come here, please?
MARY
(exasperated, off stage)
Fine!
Mary, 18, enters, annoyed.
MARY
What?!
RUTH
(calmly)
Where’s the dryer?
MARY
(hesitant)
The... the dryer?
RUTH
The dryer.
MARY
Ummm... Beatrice was spending the night...
BUD
Beatrice?
RUTH
(to Bud)
A friend from school.
(turning back to Mary)
Beatrice was spending the night... and...
MARY
And there was this stray cat out in the front yard.
RUTH
Stray cat, front yard, okay.
MARY
And it was cold.
RUTH
It’s July... in Texas.  It’s never cold.
MARY
(insistent)
The cat was cold!
RUTH
Okay, okay.  Cold cat.  Okay.
MARY
And we brought it into the house.
BUD
You brought some flea infested...?!
MARY
We gave it a bath.
RUTH
A stray cat.  You gave a stray cat a bath.
MARY
After we fed it.
BUD
I’ve told you.  You never feed stray cats.  Once you feed them, you own them.
MARY
It was starving!  What were we supposed to do?  Let it starve!?
RUTH
You fed the cat.
MARY
Tuna.
RUTH
From a can.
MARY
Yes.
RUTH
Then you gave the cat a bath.
MARY
Yes.
Silence.
RUTH
The dryer?
MARY
Oh.  Well, the cat was wet...
BUD
And you put it in the dryer?!
MARY
No?!  You don’t put cat in a dryer.  That would kill the poor thing.  That’s sick.
BUD
(hands up)
Okay.  Sorry.
RUTH
Wet cat... dryer?
MARY
The cat was wet...
RUTH
(out of patience)
I know the cat was wet!  What happened to my dryer?!
MARY
The cat was wet... so we got some towels and dried it off.  And the floor was wet.  The cat didn’t really like getting a bath...
BUD
Surprise, surprise.
MARY
So we got more towels and dried the floor.  And we were wet...
BUD
More towels.
MARY
(nodding)
More towels.
RUTH
The dryer.
MARY
We put all the towels in the dryer and turned it on...
BUD
The cat wasn’t with the towels was it?!
MARY
No.  We put the cat back outside.  But there were a lot of towels and the dryer started making this grinding noise and then it started smoking and then it coughed and died.
Silence.
RUTH
And where is it now?
MARY
Beatrice said her father had fixed their dryer, so we called him and he came and got it.  He was going to try and have it fixed before you got home.
Silence.
Ruth steps up to Mary.
RUTH
Good work.
Ruth gives Mary a big hug.
BUD
(going to Mary)
Good job.
Bud gives her a half hug.
MARY
You’re not mad?
RUTH
No.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  Something broke and you are having it fixed.
BUD
That’s what adults do.  Good job.
RUTH
I’m proud of you.
(she hugs Mary again)
Kind of a long shaggy dog story...
MARY
It was a stray cat story...
RUTH
Oh yea.
End of play.