26 June 2015

PROMPT:  You have the power to heal--for 10 days.

Alison Frost, director/educator

Panacea, a young woman in light flowing robes stands in front of  Barbara, 22, tattoos, pink hair, piercings.
BARBARA
Who the hell are you?
PANACEA
I am Panacea, the goddess of healing.
BARBARA
(snide)
And I’m the Queen of the May Parade.
PANACEA
What?
BARBARA
What do you want?
PANACEA
I’ve come to give you a gift.
BARBARA
A gift.  What kind of gift?
PANACEA
The gift of healing.
BARBARA
Crap.  I always have to play the healer.
PANACEA
“Play the healer?”
BARBARA
Cleric, druid, shaman, priest, medic, whatever.
PANACEA
What are you talking about, young lady?
BARBARA
Wow, Final Fantasy, Star Wars, Elder Scrolls.  I always have to be the fucking healer!  I don’t want to be the healer!  I want to be the Tank.
PANACEA
A large mechanical object?
BARBARA
What?! No!  The character that stands up front and gets beat on!
PANACEA
Young lady, I have no idea what you are talking about.
BARBARA
Video games!  I’m talking about video games!  My boyfriend always gets to be the tank.  I have to be the healer.
PANACEA
This is a great gift I wish to give you.
BARBARA
Everybody hates the healer!  They all think they can do a better job than you do!  If that’s what they think, why don’t they level up some piece of shit in cloth armor who dies if you look at them cross eyed.  Nobody wants to go questing with you cause you’re always dying and they have to wait while you run from the grave yard to your body.  You can’t kill anything by yourself.  But if they start to die, they expect you to save them, keep them from dying as you get beat to death once again.  I HATE BEING THE HEALER!
PANACEA
This isn’t a game.  For ten days you will have to power to cure the sick, heal wounds, repair broken minds.
BARBARA
So I, like, have to go into hospitals and stuff?
PANACEA
If that is who you wish to heal?  But from what I’ve seen of your culture, your doctors and nurses and technology do an amazing job of healing the body.  You might do more good healing broken minds and spirits.
BARBARA
Nobody wants their mind or spirit healed.
PANACEA
What?  Why not?
BARBARA
They might have to change.  They might have to get quit drinking, or get jobs, or take care of their children or the other broken souls in their lives.
PANACEA
That sounds hard.
BARBARA
It is hard.
Silence.
PANACEA
Well, I don’t usually do this...  How ‘bout three wishes?
BARBARA
Oh no.  You can’t fool me.  I’ve seen that on TV.  I wish for a million dollars and tomorrow, the tax man is at my door wanting to know where the money came from and suddenly I’m down at the police station trying to answer a lot of questions.
PANACEA
You don’t have to ask for money.
BARBARA
(snide)
What would I ask for?
PANACEA
You could ask for a boyfriend who wasn’t a dick, or maybe just a pleasant personality and a little less scepticism.
BARBARA
(false laugh)
Ha. Ha.  Wait a minute.  Did you say a boyfriend who wasn’t a dick?  You can do that?
PANACEA
Nah.  I was just messin’ with ya.  Money, cars, jewels, clothes... that’s pretty much what I’m authorized to dispense.
BARBARA
(thoughtful)
I guess I don’t have to ask for a million bucks.
PANACEA
There ya go.
BARBARA
Yea.  How about seven hundred forty three dollars and sixty eight cents?
PANACEA
Seven hundred forty three dollars and sixty eight cents?
BARBARA
I’m behind on the rent.
PANACEA
Sure.
Panacea waves her hands and a giant heavy bad falls from the rafters and crashes to the ground.  Barbara jumps out of the way to avoid being hit.
BARBARA
What the hell?!  You coulda killed me!
PANACEA
(smirking)
Nickels.  Seven hundred forty three dollars and sixty cents in nickels.
BARBARA
I said sixty three cents.
Three pennies fall from the rafters and strike Barbara on the head.  She winces as each strikes.
PANACEA
My bad.
Silence.
BARBARA
It’s my own fault... I know what my second wish is.
PANACEA
And what would that be, young lady?
BARBARA
That you would take your wishes and shove ‘em up your... Get the hell outta here.
Panacea smiles and begins to walks off.
BARBARA
Wait a minute.  You don’t ride off in a flaming chariot or at least disappear in a cloud of smoke.
PANACEA
Budget cuts.  I gotta bus to catch.
Panacea exits as Barbara watches open mouthed.
End of play.