18 June 2015

PROMPT:  Acaba de llegar de los estados unidos... (I have just arrived from the US...) 

Leticia Rodriguez, artist/musician/dancer 

Jennifer, 32, Hispanic, stands in front of the uniformed inspector, Carl, 54.  She has a purse, a backpack and two bags.
CARL
Anything to declare?
JENNIFER
No.
CARL
No fruits, no vegetables?
JENNIFER
No.
CARL
Drugs?
JENNIFER
No.
CARL
Weapons?
JENNIFER
Well... sure.  I’m from the US.  You have to have gun to live in the US.
Carl signals off stage and a big man in a military uniform and carrying a large military style rifle appears and stands next to Carl.
CARL
You say you have a gun, ma’am.
JENNIFER
Not a gun.
CARL
You don’t have a gun?
JENNIFER
I have four guns.
Jennifer starts to reach into her purse.  The guard raises his weapon.
CARL
(stepping back)
Easy ma’am.
Jennifer raises her hands.
JENNIFER
Don’t you want to see them?
CARL
Yes, ma’am.  We do.  We just want this to be done safely and sensibly.
JENNIFER
Ok...
CARL
(holding out his hand)
Hand me the purse, please.
Jennifer hands over the purse.  Carl looks inside and with draws a small pistol.
JENNIFER
I call her Betsy.
CARL
Betsy... You name your weapons.
JENNIFER
Makes them seem friendlier.
CARL
(looking at the gun)
Friendlier...
(looking in the purse)
There’s only this one in here. Where are the others?
Jennifer unslings her backpack and starts to reach inside.  The guard alerts again.
CARL
(holding out his hand)
Just hand it to me slowly, ma’am.
Jennifer hands to backpack to Carl.  Carl looks carefully inside and pulls out a much large hand gun.
CARL
Does this one have a name?
JENNIFER
Bertha.
CARL
Bertha.
JENNIFER
Big Bertha.
CARL
Of course.
Carl looks inside the backpack and sets it down.
JENNIFER
And I have one in each of the suitcases.
Carl nods.
JENNIFER
Would you like to see them?
CARL
Four guns?  Why... why do you have four guns?
JENNIFER
Protection.
CARL
Isn’t one enough?
JENNIFER
What if I have to reload?  Reloading takes time.  Much easier to just pick up a new weapon and start blasting again.
CARL
Reload?  What... what kind of attack are you expecting?
JENNIFER
Armed men who want to kill me or rape me or steal my purse.
CARL
Are there a lot of armed men who want to kill you or rape you or steal your purse in America?
JENNIFER
A lot.  Mostly crazy lone gunman trying to work out their personal problems with a little mayhem.
CARL
Sounds like a fun place.
JENNIFER
(deadpan)
I wouldn’t be caught dead living anywhere else.
Silence.
CARL
That’s a... that’s a joke, right?
JENNIFER
Unfortunately... no.
CARL
Has anyone ever suggested that the solution to the problem of gun violence might not be...
(air quotes)
... “more guns.”
JENNIFER
Why... I can’t imagine such a thing.
Carl turns and looks at the guard.
CARL
Ma’am, we’re going to ask you to step over here.
Carl indicates off stage.
End of play.