12 June 2015

PROMPT:  A character describes a controversial piece of art to her blind lover. 

Allison Gregory, playwright 

Karla, 24, stands next to Simon, 32, at the edge of the stage looking out over the audience.
KARLA
Well, it’s bigger than a bread box.
SIMON
What the hell’s a bread box?
KARLA
I’m sorry.  I forgot you were blind for moment.
SIMON
I haven’t been blind my whole life.  I just don’t know what a bread box is.  People say, well, it’s bigger than a bread box, but what does that mean?
KARLA
My great grandmother had a bread box.  It’s a... box... you keep... bread in.
SIMON
(sarcastic)
Thank you.
Karla opens her mouth to speak.
SIMON
Did I say thank you?  I meant fuck you.  Fuck you very much.
KARLA
My great grandmother didn’t keep bread in it though.
SIMON
Then how did you know it was a bread box?
KARLA
Well, it was a box...
SIMON
Are you trying to piss me off?!
KARLA
And it had bread written on the side of it.  She kept potato chips in it.
SIMON
Potato chips... You’re telling me that your grandmother...
KARLA
(interrupting)
... great grandmother.
SIMON
Make sure I get it exactly right.  Was it your mother’s mother’ mother or your mother’s father’s mother or your father’s mother’s mother or your father’s father’s mother?
KARLA
You’re just making fun of me now!
SIMON
And what was your first clue, Sherlock.
KARLA
I don’t know why I slept with you last night.
SIMON
Pity sex.  I get a lot of that.
KARLA
And you’re okay with that?
SIMON
Okay with it?!  I live for it!
KARLA
Simon, that’s disgusting!
SIMON
I’m disgusting?!  Karla, I didn’t have pity sex with you.  You had pity sex with me.
KARLA
You took advantage of me!
SIMON
What?  I’m blind!  Remember?  You took me up to your place.  Undressed me.  Lay me down on the bed and rode me like a wild stallion!  You took advantage of me!
KARLA
Not that you’re complaining.
SIMON
Amen.
Silence.
SIMON
(finally)
I’m sorry.  I haven’t been very nice to you.
KARLA
You paid for our drinks last night and bought me breakfast this morning and you whispered the sweetest things to me last night after... after...
SIMON
After you rode me like a wild stallion.
KARLA
After I rode you like a wild stallion.
Silence.
SIMON
I really meant those things.
KARLA
But you hardly know me.
SIMON
I’m a sucker for sweet, beautiful women.
KARLA
You don’t know whether I’m beautiful or not.
Simon reaches over and after a moment of fumbling, strokes her cheeks.
SIMON
Yes, I do.
KARLA
Ahhh...
SIMON
(sliding his hands down to her breasts)
And you’ve got some great tits.
KARLA
(slapping Simon’s hand away)
Simon.  People could be watching!
SIMON
Are people watching?
KARLA
(looking around)
No.
Simon swats her on the behind.
SIMON
And an ass so tight you could bounce quarters off of it.
KARLA
(giggles and snuggles up to Simon)
What does that mean anyway?  Have you ever tried to bounce a quarter off of anyone’s ass?
SIMON
No, and even if I could hit your ass with a quarter, I wouldn’t be able to tell if it bounced.
KARLA
So you’re just making shit up.
Silence.
SIMON
I’m not making this up.  I really like you.  You didn’t ride me like a wild stallion, you were very gentle with me.
KARLA
Well, of course.
SIMON
Not of course.  There are some weird women out there, a lot of weird women out there, who have want to do... well, weird things to a blind man.
KARLA
That’s sounds kinda... sick.
SIMON
Well yeah.
Silence.
SIMON
I’m glad you weren’t one of those.  I’ve actually enjoyed getting to know you...
KARLA
(interrupting)
... more than the sex?
SIMON
Okay, not more.  Let’s just say that I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and I’d like to get to know you better.
Silence.
KARLA
I’d like that.
Silence.  They take each others hands.
SIMON
So tell me about this work of art.
KARLA
(smiling)
Well, it’s bigger than a bread box...
End of play.