ScriptWorks 30/60/90 - 6 August 2013

Prompt:
A sentence that is as specific as possible-Shana Merlin, performer/improv trainer

Response:

TIFFANY, a young woman of any race, sits on the edge of the bed in her bra and panties.  Her clothes are in a pile at her feet.
BRAYDEN, a young man of any race, lies on the bed, apparently naked, a sheet covering his crotch.

TIFFANY
No!

BRAYDEN
(begging)
Why not?

TIFFANY
No, period, is a complete sentence.

BRAYDEN
What?!

TIFFANY
(impersonating Groucho)
It’s an ordinary word.  Something found around the house everyday.

BRAYDEN
You trying to impersonate somebody?!

TIFFANY
You’re an idiot!

BRAYDEN
What the hell does that mean?!

TIFFANY
And you’re an asshole!

BRAYDEN
You’re the one who lead me into my bedroom.

TIFFANY
Proving that I am as big an idiot as you are!

BRAYDEN
Tiffany... It’s not like this is our first date.

TIFFANY
It’s our second date!

BRAYDEN
See...

TIFFANY
And our first date was to a heavy metal concert.  We couldn’t talk.  We couldn’t hear each other.  My ears are still ringing.

BRAYDEN
(defensive)
We talked while we waited in line.

TIFFANY
(annoyed)
About how much you loved the band!

BRAYDEN
The Draize Train are awesome, aren’t they?

TIFFANY
They suck!

BRAYDEN
(hurt)
If you didn’t like the first date, why did you go out with me again?

TIFFANY
(embarrassed)
You’re nice looking, you have a nice car and a good job... and Marci...

BRAYDEN
(interrupting)
...Thought we were perfect for each other.

TIFFANY
(muttering)
She’s nearly as big an idiot as you are.

BRAYDEN
I’m not an idiot!  I have a masters degree in finance.  I have a job with a Fortune 500 company.  I make lots of money.

TIFFANY
And yet, the first time you bring a girl back to your bedroom...

BRAYDEN
You brought me!

TIFFANY
Alright!  The first time you get a girl into your bedroom, you pull out...

Tiffany leans over and pulls an enormous pair of clown shoes out from under the bed.

TIFFANY
...these!  And ask her to wear them while she makes love to you!

BRAYDEN
(weakly)
I thought you had a good sense of humor.

TIFFANY
I have a great sense of humor!

BRAYDEN
Then why won’t you wear the shoes?!

TIFFANY
Because, if this is what you pull out the first time we have sex, what are you going to pull out the twentieth time?  Long skinny balloons so I can make balloon animals while we... we...

BRAYDEN
If you don’t like clowns, just say so.

TIFFANY
I don’t like clowns.

Tiffany stands, gathers her clothes, and exits.
Curtain.