ScriptWorks 30/60/90 - 10 August 2013

Prompt:
Find an unknown play that you like that is in the public domain, then adapt it for our time.-David Copelin, playwright/dramaturg/translator

Response:

A large banner hangs at the back of the stage.  On the banner a gun fires a bullet through the words “When did ‘Gun’ become a bad word?”  On the banner below these words in smaller letters are the letters “NRA .”
Three men (all roles should be played by female actors) stand and chat in front of the sign.  MICKY, 54, Anglo with long white hair, has a sidearm in an old west style belt holster.  DON, 42, Anglo with short brown hair has a sidearm in a shoulder holster.  EDGAR, 24, Anglo with a beard, wearing a baseball cap, carries a rifle slung over his shoulder.  (It should not be obvious that actors playing these roles are female.)
CHARLIE, 30, obviously a woman pretending to be a man, carrying a rifle in a drag bag, with a sidearm in a old west style holster and a small gun in an ankle holster, enters and joins the men.

CHARLIE
(walking up)
What...

Charlie realizes that she is using her normal rather high pitched voice.  She clears her throat and starts again in a fake deep voice.

CHARLIE
Sorry about that.  I’m having allergies.

Charlie tries and too her surprise hocks up phlegm which she then spits on the floor.

CHARLIE
What’s up, men?

The other three look Charlie over a little suspiciously, but when they see the guns they relax.

MICKY
How you likin’ the convention?

CHARLIE
(acting annoyed)
Not what I expected.

EDGAR
I think it’s great.

DON
What were you hopin’ for?

Charlie quickly puts her hand on the butt of the sidearm at her waist.  The other men react twitching toward their own weapons.

CHARLIE
A little less about what ammo to use to kill an eight point buck, a lot more about how to stand your ground.

EDGAR
I don’t want to kill anybody!

CHARLIE
Sometimes, it ain’t about want, it’s about... need.

MICKY
That whole Trayvon Martin mess, just stirred up a whole lot a controversy.  We don’t... need anymore o’ that.

CHARLIE
(sounding vicious)
The crazies are out there.  Sometimes they get in your face.  You can’t just walk away.

DON
Yes, you can.

Charlie steps into Don.

CHARLIE
I look like a punk!

DON
(stepping)
It’s not about whether your a punk or not...

CHARLIE
I ain’t no punk!  And I ain’t nobody’s bitch.

MICKY
Nobody is saying you are...

CHARLIE
When that kid was on my lawn last month...

EDGAR
(incredulous)
You shot somebody?

CHARLIE
Only after a warning shot.  Just a flesh wound.

DON
You can’t act like that!

CHARLIE
(slowly)
You know you want to.

JULIE, a pretty woman, 44, comes over to the boys.  She looks over the men with a second, suspicious, look at Charlie.

JULIE
(shaking hands with each in turn)
Edgar, Don, Micky...

Julie turns to Charlie and extends her hand.

JULIE
I don’t believe we’ve met.

CHARLIE
I’m Charlie.

JULIE
Be on the look out, men.  Rumor has it that some anti-gun activists have snuck into conference.   They may try to disrupt things.

Charlie pulls his sidearm.

CHARLIE
I hope they do.

MICKY
Whoa, pardner.  Put that thing back in it’s holster.

Charlie slowly re-holsters his sidearm.

JULIE
Just keep your eyes open for...
(She looks Charlie up and down with suspicion again.)
...anybody that don’t seem to fit in.  Anybody you don’t know.

Don, Micky, and Edgar look at Charlie.

CHARLIE
(crouching and looking around)
I’ll keep my eyes open.

Charlie exits.
Curtain.

- a liberal adaptation from The Thesmophoriazusae  by Aristophanes